The Date
Zuck's "internet overlaid onto the physical world" promises to further "liberate" the modern dating market. A dispatch from the near future.
DARKNESS.
FADE IN:
“I think in the future, our computing platform, as it becomes more like glasses or eventually contact lens form, the internet is going to get overlaid on the physical world. People are just going to be so much more creative, and they're going to be freed up to do kind of crazy things. More people will dedicate themselves to kind of creative and artistic and cultural pursuits. I mean, that's generally good.”
-Mark Zuckerberg
INT. RESTAURANT. NIGHT.
Brad, 30 years old, 5 foot 10, with a Turkish hair transplant, studies a paper menu. 75 dollars for a flank steak with fries. He takes a gulp of sweet syrupy Syrah.
ALICE
Mmph luhv how they hahv ohld shtyle mehnyoosh heer.
Reveal Alice at the other end of the table. Mid with fake tits in a low cut shirt. She holds her paper menu gingerly in her fingers as she attempts to decipher the writing. She’s wearing a surgical mask.
BRAD
Sorry - I didn’t get that.
Alice looks around. No one else is wearing a mask. She takes hers off.
ALICE
I love how they have old style menus here. They even wrote everything in cursive. So cute. I forgot cursive was a thing.
BRAD
Yeah. My dad still had to learn it in school.
ALICE
They had to learn so many useless things in those days didn’t they? History, geography, math. Like why? We’ve got A.I.
Brad smiles. A quick flicker passes across his eye.
Switch to Brad’s POV. Social media information is projected onto his contact lens. We see Alice’s Instagram and her Linkedin. Using the motion of his eyes, Brad scrolls through pictures of friends, vacations, food and cappuccinos, all projected on the inside of the contact, all invisible to Alice sitting across from him.
ALICE
They talk about how stupid our generation is but they didn’t even know racism was bad!
BRAD
Yeah...
A male African waiter with a French accent arrives at their table.
WAITER
Do you guys needs more time?
ALICE
I’m ready. Are you?
With a deliberately exaggerated blink, Brad closes the augmented A.I reality.
BRAD
Yes. Go ahead. Lady’s first!
Alice scowls.
BRAD
Sorry - that must have sounded sexist.
Alice doesn’t respond.
ALICE
I’ll have the mushroom risotto please. But do you know what kind of mushrooms they put in it?
WAITER
Do you have an allergy the kitchen should be aware of madame?
ALICE
No, no. Nothing like that. I usually like mushrooms but I heard that portobello farming isn’t sustainable and I’m trying my best to be conscious of things like that this year.
As Alice speaks, Brad is tapping his foot nervously. He can’t help it. He blinks and the A.I overlay reappears. He starts scrolling through bikini selfies of Alice.
Reveal a small mark behind Brad’s right ear, where the surgical incision was made in order to install the neural chip.
Text appears as Brad gives the Cassandra A.I mental commands.
Brad / Check these for A.I filters.
Cassandra A.I / Of course.
WAITER
I believe they’re wild chanterelles madame. Nothing farmed.
ALICE
Oh good. I’ll take it then, please.
WAITER
Excellent choice.
Cassandra A.I / It looks like all of these pictures had some A.I filters applied to them. Would you like me to look in more detail?
Brad / Yes.
The African waiter turns to Brad.
WAITER
And for you sir?
BRAD
I’ll have the flank steak.
WAITER
Medium rare?
BRAD
Yes please.
He jots everything down on a notepad.
WAITER
Perfect. I’ll get those in for you.
He leaves.
Cassandra A.I / Weight loss filter, rosy cheek filter, big booba filter, bigazz...
ALICE
They even have old paper notepads! I love this place!
Brad blinks hard, turning Cassandra A.I off.
BRAD
Right?
Alice lifts her glass of wine towards Brad.
ALICE
Well, cheers to first dates! I’m glad we found eachother Brad.
BRAD
Cheers!
They clink glasses.
MINUTES LATER
ALICE
So what do you do for work Brad?
BRAD
I’m a software engineer at Nexora.
ALICE
Oh thats cool.
A flicker across Alice’s eye. Reveal the incision mark behind her right ear.
ALICE
So like low six figures.
Cut to Alice’s POV. She has her own Cassandra A.I overlay. We see a halo around Brad displaying his height, job title and estimated income.
ALICE
Do you like it?
BRAD
Yeah, it’s a great company.
ALICE
That’s cool.
Alice scans the restaurant. Other men’s height, job titles and estimated incomes start popping up.
James, 5 11’, Junior Creative, 65k.
Prashant, 5 10’, IT Oversight, 90k.
Neil, 5 10’, Chief Financial Officer, 400k.
ALICE
So what do you do for fun?
BRAD
I lift. I’m part of a running club. And I do toast-masters too.
Alice sends a message to Neil the CFO as he eats dinner with his family.
Alice / omg im so bored. I feel like we’ve met?
ALICE
That’s cool. When I was a little girl, I used to be scared of public speaking too.
Neil the CFO turns around and glances at Alice with a sly smile.
BRAD
I had this dad who never let me speak. He thought he knew everything.
Brad pauses.
BRAD
It really fucked me up. It was one of these things where I knew I would never be my own person until I conquered it.
ALICE
Yeah that’s so cool! Sorry, I gotta go pee.
BRAD
Please. Go go.
She gets up.
ALICE
I’ll be right back.
MINUTES LATER
Brad pokes at his flank steak. He looks around. We see the Cassandra A.I logo in the corner of his vision, glowing and pulsing gently like a heartbeat, waiting for Brad to tell it what to do.
He gives in and blinks.
Cassandra A.I / How can I help you Brad?
Brad / FakeKing
A dropdown menu emerges. Bikini pics of Alice are dragged into a box. In the span of a few seconds Brad is watching A.I generated porn of Alice. She lies on her back with her leg spread, getting fucked from Brad’s fully immersive first person point of view.
He takes a bite of his steak happily.
INT. RESTROOM. NIGHT.
Alice and Neil the CFO are making out in a toilet stall.
INT. RESTAURANT. NIGHT.
A bum sneaks into the restaurant and makes his rounds from table to table, asking patrons for change.
Brad takes another bite of steak. From his point of view we see two virtually generated Alice’s pleasuring each other.
In the real world, the Bum sits down in Alice’s empty seat at the table.
BUM
Hey...buddy...
Brad doesn’t respond. He’s lost in a virtual world of his own.
BUM
Hey! Buddy!
Brad is jarred out of his VR experience. He knocks over his wine.
BUM
Can you spare some change for the bus?
Brad sighs and reaches into his pocket for his wallet.
INT. RESTROOM. NIGHT.
Alice separates from Neil the CFO.
ALICE
I gotta go.
NEIL THE CFO
Why? We’re having fun.
She slaps him playfully.
ALICE
Bad boy. Call me, ok?
NEIL THE CFO
Ahhh you tease.
She smiles and makes her way out of the restroom.
INT. RESTAURANT. NIGHT.
The Bum counts out some old crinkly one dollar bills.
BUM
Thanks brother. You on a date or something?
The African waiter appears, waving his arms at the Bum.
WAITER
Hey bro! Get outta here! How many times do I have to tell you not to come here!
The Bum scrambles out of his chair and runs out of the restaurant. The Waiter turns towards Brad.
WAITER
Im sorry sir. Let me get you a new chair, new cutlery and a new risotto for madame.
BRAD
Oh that won’t be necessary.
WAITER
I insist sir.
He starts removing things from the table. He pours Brad a new glass of wine.
WAITER
Let me get you a fill up. On the house.
The waiter continues resetting the table as Brad sits there quietly. He starts tapping his foot nervously.
Brad / Add him to the scene. Give him a BBC.
From Brad’s POV, an A.I generated version of the African waiter with a massive, comically sized member is fucking the shit out of one of the A.I generated Alices, while the other Alice meets Brad’s gaze mockingly.
A.I ALICE
You love this, don’t you sissy boy? You’re NEVER going to get anywhere near this pussy.
Brad / More. Make her moan louder.
Suddenly, in the real world, Alice sits down.
ALICE
Sorry. Women issues.
Brad panics and spills his wine again.
ALICE
You ok?
BRAD
Yeah! It’s ok!
ALICE
You sure?
The front door flies open and a group of college aged protestors holding signs come crashing into the restaurant.
PROTESTOR 1
Hey, hey!
PROTESTOR 2
Ho, ho!
PROTESTORS
Settler colonialism has got to go!
Tables are overturned. African wait staff and Middle Eastern security try their best to contain the chaos. A chair flies through the air and hits Brad in the face.
DARKNESS.
EXT. HOSPITAL. HOURS LATER.
Brad emerges from ER with a bandage around his eye. He holds a takeout container. The protest is still happening down the street. We hear various chants in harmony with wailing police sirens.
He start walking.
EXT. CONDO. NIGHT
The same Bum sits near the front entrance of the condo with his arm around a heavily tattooed, half passed out 20 year old female. Dreadlocks and piercings. A protest sign in her lap.
BUM
Hey buddy! What happened to your eye?
BRAD
Nothing. I’m fine.
BUM
Where’s your hot date?
BRAD
She uhh...I dont know.
BUM
You just gotta learn to chill bro. Look at me. Got my date. Now I just need my dinner.
He bursts out laughing then leans forward and whispers.
BUM
Can you spare a bit of change for food?
Brad gives the Bum his takeout container. The Bum opens it up, revealing the $75 flank steak and fries.
BUM
Oh man that looks good. Thanks buddy.
He digs in. Brad leaves.
INT. CONDO. NIGHT.
Brad lies in bed under a lamp.
BRAD
Heyyyyy Alice. It was great meeting you today, I, ummm had a lot of fun. I hope we can do it again soon.
Brad / playback
BRAD
Heyyyyy Alice. It was great meeting you today, I ummm, had a lot of fun. I hope we can do it again soon.
Brad / polish it up and make it flirty. 6/10 on the flirt factor.
Cassandra A.I plays back an altered version of the message.
BRAD (V.O.)
Hey Alice. I was just sitting here thinking about how great it was meeting you today. I’m thinking we do it again...soon. But at my place. How does that sound to you?
Brad / Too flirty. Tone it down to 4/10 and send.
Cassandra / Sent.
Brad waits.
INT. SHITTY APARTMENT. NIGHT.
Alice is naked in bed with Chad - muscular, with prison tattoos and no less than 6 feet tall. We see white powder on a bedside table.
A flash across Alice’s eyes.
ALICE
Hold up.
She tries to sit up in bed but he pulls her towards him.
CHAD
Get over here bitch.
She laughs.
ALICE
Just give me a minute!
She kneels naked in bed with her fake breasts defying gravity. Chad waits, clearly amused.
Cassandra A.I / You have 2 new messages and 27 unanswered messages.
Alice / show me the new ones
Neil the CFO / When are we meeting?
Alice / Set reminder to answer in 48 hours. Next.
Cassandra / Voice message from Brad. Play?
Alice / No. Forward to chatbot.
She turns back to Chad.
ALICE
Where were we?
INT. CONDO. NIGHT
Brad sits in bed under his lamp.
Cassandra / Response from Alice.
BRAD
That was quick. Play it.
ALICE (V.O.)
Hey Brad! I had a lot of fun too! Thanks for being such a gentleman and picking up the tab. You really didnt have to!
BRAD
Is this a chatbot?
Cassandra / It appears to be.
He reaches for a glass of wine at bedside, but accidentally spills it.
BRAD
Fuck!
Time passes. Cassandra pulses in the corner of his eye.
BRAD
Play the BBC scene.
Cassandra / Which one?
BRAD
The fucking one from today!
The A.I generated video of the Alice twins getting railed by the comically well-hung African waiter plays on a beautiful Chinese made razor thin panoramic screen.
Brad sighs and reaches for some lube at bedside.
FADE TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
TITLE: THE DATE